Irie vibes–control the controllable

Control

(Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay)

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them”.

(Maya Angelou)

Control the controllable is one of my favorite sayings.  Do not remember where I heard it first, but it has been a way of thinking for many years.  Try to leverage this saying when things appear difficult and I need to remind myself to trust the process.

I shared the saying in a LinkedIn post back in April and was pleasantly surprised with the number of views (900+), reactions (20+) and comments the post garnered.  The COVID-19 pandemic has changed the way we view normal and it can be easy to get overwhelmed with everything happening around us.

Dictionary.com defines control as the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.

Control the controllable can serve as a positive mantra to help tackle difficult times and situations.

Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself can be done in many ways.  For some this may mean ensuring you make time to exercise.  For others this can be done by eating a healthier diet.  This combination is a critical aspect of controlling how you function daily.  A key component some of us may have forgotten until now is the mental and emotional elements in your life.  COVID-19 has made us view life differently and reveals the importance of mental health.  The ability to seek and find clarity should be at the forefront of taking care of yourself.

Take care of others

Who are YOUR tree branches?  Make sure you reach out to them to help them navigate this new way of life.  Most people will tell you they are doing okay but keep checking on them.  They will appreciate the effort and it helps you keep your tree growing.  You can also reach out to people who are not tree branches; make someone’s day and become a mentor to help move them forward and provide some guidance.

Continue to practice physical distancing

The government and news agencies penned the term social distancing.  Believe this connotation has been a problem from day 1.  Most people had never heard of this term prior to the COVID-19 pandemic and it may have confused some.  I like the term physical distancing because it says right in the title to stay away from others.  We have got enamored with social media and everything that comes with it—think a lot of people could not understand what was really being asked of them when told to practice social distancing.  Regardless how you address the term, physical distancing is something we have some level of control.

Create personal outlets

Look for personal and creative outlets to leverage the things you can control.  The Walk into the Future blog has become a major way for me to express a creative side I really did not know existed.  I get excited researching topics and then challenging myself to create an article someone else may want to read.  Have no idea if anyone is really reading this stuff but I keep plugging away because it is something I control.

Running and weightlifting are other outlets I utilized to control the controllable for myself.  Journaling outside of my work on the Walk into the Future blog has a calming effect for me.  Most times when writing in my journal I can generate work and life ideas to implement later.  Handwriting content in the journal also makes me slow done a bit and really think through what I want to write down.  Always recommend journaling to anyone who will listen to me because it is an excellent outlet to express thoughts—try it! 😊

Reggae and the beach are other outlets I have available to me daily.

Open your eyes and your mind to see your outlets!

The control center of your life is your attitude”.

(Anonymous)

Live, love and laugh

Life can be a compilation of good and bad. Let’s focus on the good and leverage the positive energy this mindset brings.  Live daily, love often and laugh always!  (I just made that up). 😊

What daily things are within your control?  How do you maintain this control? Thanks!

“The moment you give up, is the moment you let someone else win.”

(Kobe Bryant)

 

Walking and being black in America!

Candles

(Image by Pexels from Pixabay)

“To be black and conscious in America is to be in a constant state of rage”.

(James Baldwin)

“I’m a black man in America so I always feel there’s a target on me”.

(Wale)

The Walk into the Future blog has provided me with a creative outlet where I can share my thoughts, leadership philosophy and life adventures.  It puts a smile on my face when I look back at this journey and see the quality of my writing and content improve daily.  Never thought an electronic journal would become such a huge part of my daily life.  I smile every time someone follows the blog or sends me a comment.

Well, I did not smile so much today!

The battle we fight daily as black men in America has been playing out on every major TV network first with Ahmaud Arbery (killed jogging), then Breonna Taylor (killed sleeping) and now George Floyd (killed while handcuffed).  Think about that last sentence for a minute!

I know there are others out there who have faced the wrath of America but there was not video evidence of what happened to them.  Black America has been hoping and praying these incidents would stop and we can fully engage in the American dream—good thing I am not holding my breath—this never seems to end!  Why not?  I know this is not a simple question to answer but it needs to get answered soon.

Got several text messages from my friends to check on me to see how I am doing with all of this.  Thank you for thinking of me and reaching out!

Think it hits closer to home with my friends because they know how much I am out and about with my running program.  Seeing a black man get killed while out for a run highlighted our plight to my friends—yes, that could have been me.  I have had to reassure my mom, brothers, and friends that I am doing everything I can to stay safe when I am out for a run.  Sad to say I must think about being able to make it home safely when I go out for a run.  How many who read my blog have these thoughts when you go for a run?  Life is weird, huh?

My running outfits are selected to provide me with the most visibility as possible.  The extreme bright, loud, and sometimes fluorescent colors are used so everyone will know I am not hiding anything or trying to blend in.  I want to be visible and remembered by everyone who sees me running through their neighborhood.  I also make a point to speak, wave, and smile at everyone I encounter because I do not want them to feel threatened.  Surprisingly, most do not wave back but that is not the point of my actions.  I smile and wave whenever I see a police car drive by too.  Cannot be seen as a threat while exercising!

(Do I look like a runner?)

I also make a point to carry my retired Air Force identification card when I am on my runs in case I encounter police.  I have found police are less threatened when they realize they are talking with someone who has served the country.

When driving I always show my military identification if I get pulled over for any reason first, then I provide whatever identification is requested.  Please know both hands remain on the steering wheel and then I explain in a clear, distinct voice what I am doing if ordered to produce anything else.  I am sure most black people follow this same process to avoid misunderstandings that leads to…you know!

Being a black man in America is exhausting!  I have a PhD in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, a Master’s degree in Counseling/Human Relations, a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, Air Force retiree identification and recognized nationally for authentic leadership development.

Now, imagine what black men without my credentials must do to survive in America.  The insanity must stop!

NOTE:  I will get back to my normal tone next week—thanks for allowing me to vent.

 

“I believe in human beings, and that all human beings should be respected as such, regardless of their color”.

(Malcolm X.)

“Usually, when people are sad, they don’t do anything.  They just cry over their condition.  But when they are angry, they bring about change”.

(Malcolm X.)

Time for change—let’s get out and vote, remain vigilant and demand change—we must do better!

How can you help?

Great article:  https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2020/05/29/george-floyd-ahmaud-arbery-killings-make-hard-blacks-breathe-column/5278108002/

Walking with a month of inspiration!

Mattie inspiration project

(Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay)

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do”.

(John Wooden)

My Walk into the Future has provided me with a new perspective on how I see and live life.  This process has created transformations (mental and physical) which allow me to walk daily with a mission to make a difference daily.

A great aspect to my Walk into the Future has been the great connections I make and reconnecting with friends and family.  I have mentioned one of my mentors, Mrs. Mattie Fouraker who I met in the 10th grade.  She was my Typing 1 teacher and the skills I learned from her have led to many successful outcomes for me over the years.

I started sharing Walk into the Future blog articles with Mrs. Fouraker to show her some of the things I have been doing and a way to say thank you.  Decided to print a few articles and mailed them to her so she can have them readily available.  Got an email from her to let me know she received them and a huge surprise.

My mission to make a difference daily and sharing blog articles inspired her to create an Inspiration Project.

She decided to get busy and find ways to inspire others in her life daily!  My mentor put a smile on my face by emulating something I do—truly humbled when she told me what she was doing.

She cut out my mission:  to make a difference daily and put this on her refrigerator with a monthly calendar underneath.

Her goal is to do something to inspire someone every day of the month and record the deed on the calendar.  Thought this was a very purposeful way to inspire others and make a difference daily.  In fact, the ability to look back on a month’s worth of difference making must feel great.  I love this idea and grateful she shared her project with me.

I will follow her lead and record my daily difference making initiatives to get a better understanding of impact AND to keep me focused.  I am sure there are days I may fall short but having a visual tool will keep me on-track.  The monthly good deeds may also lead to future blog articles—we will see!

Challenge accepted

So, now I challenge everyone who may read this post to join Mrs. Fouraker and me on this Inspiration Project journey to make a difference daily.  Create a calendar, excel spreadsheet, or Google doc to record who and how you made a difference today.  Do this for a day, a week, or a month to see the impact you have on the people in your daily walk.  Track your inspirations for as long as you want but thought this was a great way to highlight the importance of helping others.  Who is with me? 😊  This could also be the beginning of you establishing your own tree branches.

Who can you inspire today?  What will you do to make it happen?  Thanks!

“Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does”.

(William James)

Note:  Mrs. Fouraker is a regular reader of the blog now. She follows along weekly on her iPad —hope you enjoyed this one and thanks for the inspiration! Hope to see you soon!😊

 

Time to Inspire

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

 

Daily flowers—send them now!

Purple Rose

(Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay)

“Don’t wait for people to die to send them flowers”.

(Reverend Simmons, New Bethel AME Church)

It is amazing the things we retain from our childhood.  I attended weekly Sunday school and church services at New Bethel AME church while growing up in Jasper, FL.  I am sure Reverend Simmons said some other amazing things but the quote above always stuck with me.  Never understood it as a kid so maybe that is why it stuck with me all these years.

Thought it was a weird saying until I fully understood his meaning.  It can be interpreted multiple ways, but he was reminding us to cherish/celebrate the people in our lives while we have them.  Waiting for a tragic incident is a bit late to let people know what you think about them.

I decided to write this post 3 days after Kobe Bryant, his daughter and friends died in a helicopter crash in Los Angeles.  I am not much of an NBA fan but watched Kobe during his Hall of Fame NBA career and more intently after he retired.  He ventured into business, screen writing, venture capital investments and his sports academy as part of his life after basketball.  He became successful in these endeavors because he displayed a thirst for knowledge and sought out mentors to learn new things.  He continued to look for ways to get better and make a difference in the world.  Believe he was on the verge of expanding his portfolio in the entertainment world but never got a chance to complete this portion of his legacy.

I will not dive much further into Kobe’s life, but his unexpected passing brought me back to what Reverend Simmons reminded us EVERY Sunday—Do not wait for people to die to send them flowers. 

I use a lot of quotes in my daily Walk into the Future, but I am sure my tree branches have never heard me use this quote with them.  May seem weird to share so much with them but not this one aspect of my background.  Allow me to provide a bit of clarity and how I leverage the quote in all my interactions.

I take my role as a tree seriously and believe I should model positive things for my tree branches.  I also want to continue to make a difference daily.  So, I provide theoretical flowers every day to my people!

I make a point to text, call, email, LinkedIn, visit or carrier pigeon (LOL) someone daily to provide them their flowers.  May look like:

  • Happy Monday!
  • Happy Friday!
  • Go (insert name)!
  • How are you?
  • How are your students doing?
  • How’s the family?

I could add more to the list but believe you get the message.  It may be small things but once I understood what Reverend Simmons was telling us I discovered a ton of ways to provide flowers daily.  Some of you may prefer real flowers but I cannot afford the daily costs so guess you will have to be happy with my texts, calls, emails, LinkedIn, visits and hopefully those dang pigeons arrive soon! 😊

So, do me a favor, look around and identify who you need to send flowers to and get busy!  Thank you!

“It’s the one thing you can control.  You are responsible for how people remember you—or don’t.  So, don’t take it lightly”.

(Kobe Bryant)

“Live for yourself and you live in vain; live for others and you will live again”.

(Bob Marley)

 Happy Mother’s Day!!!

 

Transition towards the future!

Transition

(Image by Volker Sachse from Pixabay)

“Light precedes every transition.  Whether at the end of a tunnel, through a crack in the door or the flash of an idea, it is always there, heralding a new beginning”.

(Teresa Tsalaky)

I spend a large amount of time generating lists in my daily Walk into the Future.  This is not a new phenomenon because I find my lists help keep me focused and moving forward in multiple areas.  I track everything:  daily activities, weekly to-do lists, yearly goals, every gym workout, every mile I run and how fast I ran them.  Small correction, I do not track what I eat—may need to add this process since I have decided to eat better in 2020—we will see!  Guess a grocery list would help with this, huh? 😊

Decided to discuss my list making process because a tree branch wanted me to write an article about what the transition from my previous work life to my current Walk into the Future journey looks like.  His interest was more in understanding the transition because a lot of people talk about making a change but never really discuss what happens during the transition.

Of course, my transition started with a list.  I sat on a beach on 4/14/18 and created a PRO/CON list to give me a visual of why/if I wanted to Walk into the Future.  Did a complete assessment and put items under the PRO (stay) or CON (walk) column to give me something measurable.  The list was heavily populated on the CON side so my decision to Walk into the Future was easy to make and backed by data.  I will not dive into what was on the list but wanted to share there was a process involved to help with this decision.

“Transitions in life can offer opportunities for discovery”.

(Robbie Shell)

Throwback article on moving forward:

I am sure there are books and additional articles written by others who have transitioned from one work environment to another.  This process is unique to everyone who decides to Walk into the Future—I will share things unique to me and my current Walk into the Future.

Humility

Being humble signals a willingness to learn and continue to grow.  I have never professed I know everything, so I continue to be a lifelong learner.  I read, network and ask questions when I do not understand something.  Humility can speed up the transition process by seeking others to help along the way.  Therefore, I never turn down meetings, speaking engagements or random conversations—I am learning as I go, and everyone can be a good source of information for me.  I have maintained relationships with mentors and expanded my mentor pool to ensure I’m continuing to learn and grow.

Patience

How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time!  This is an old leadership axiom to get people to focus on the process and not get overwhelmed with the perceived end results.  Most things in life are a process and can be overcome with a patient approach.  I have had to display a high level of patience during my Walk into the Future because not everyone I encounter is trying to get to the exact place I am.  They may not even know how to help me get where I am headed and may need to refer me to someone else.  I have learned the art of the follow-up call/email very well during this period! 😊  Remember, one bite at a time.

Sense of Humor

Laughter is a great way to release endorphins and makes you feel good.  Laughter is also needed in this process because I do not take everything so seriously.  Life is stressful enough without us adding more to it.  I make a point to laugh, tell jokes and enjoy life to the max.  I smile when I pitch a proposal to organizations for speaking engagements and I smile when organizations so no thank you.  I generate a big old grin when I book a gig—it feels good!  The key I believe is not to get too high or low during this process—laughing daily helps with this.  I make a point to smile, laugh and enjoy myself when presenting to others—believe people relate to others who smile.

Confidence

Spend any amount of time with me and you will understand I do not lack confidence.  This really helped when making the decision to Walk into the Future.  It also leads to the ability to keep moving forward even when things do not go my way.  I have heard the word NO more times than YES during this process but cannot let that distract me from my mission to make a difference daily.  My lists mentioned earlier help as well because they allow me to check things off—never discount the importance of checking things off a list—it shows progress!  I view life as a journey and confidence helps every step of the way.  Positive self-talk is an outstanding way to get and maintain your confidence levels.

Mental and Physical outlets

My blog articles cover a lot of topics as I continue my Walk into the Future.  I purposely seek out activities to enhance my mental and physical well being daily.  My daily workouts, running program and yoga practice are designed to boost my physical fitness and allow me to generate endorphins.  Never discount the impact physical activity provides to daily life.

I am an avid reader, so bookstore and library visits are a regular part of my program.  I gravitate to blogs, online articles and LinkedIn to ensure I continue to learn new things.  My book topics range from self-help, psychology, poetry and autobiographies.  I do not venture into fiction much—John Sanford is the only fiction author I read on a regular basis.  Discovered him by accident over 20 years ago while stationed on Okinawa, Japan.  Been reading his work ever since.

I maintain a journal which helps me process my thoughts and aspirations.  This is a weekly process for me or anytime I am at the beach.  Lastly, the Walk into the Future blog provides an outstanding mental outlet vehicle for me.  Get to write and test out ideas here right in front of YOU! 😊

So, there you have it.  This is still an active transition for me as I explore new ideas, topics, interests and partnerships.  This journey will continue, and I am sure there will be pivots needed but the smile on my face will not go away.

Enjoy your transition as you walk with me!

How can you make the transitions needed for your journey?  Who can you partner with to enhance the transition period?  Thanks!

 “Life is a transition”.

(Lailah Gifty Akita)