Irie vibes–control the controllable

Control

(Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay)

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them”.

(Maya Angelou)

Control the controllable is one of my favorite sayings.  Do not remember where I heard it first, but it has been a way of thinking for many years.  Try to leverage this saying when things appear difficult and I need to remind myself to trust the process.

I shared the saying in a LinkedIn post back in April and was pleasantly surprised with the number of views (900+), reactions (20+) and comments the post garnered.  The COVID-19 pandemic has changed the way we view normal and it can be easy to get overwhelmed with everything happening around us.

Dictionary.com defines control as the power to influence or direct people’s behavior or the course of events.

Control the controllable can serve as a positive mantra to help tackle difficult times and situations.

Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself can be done in many ways.  For some this may mean ensuring you make time to exercise.  For others this can be done by eating a healthier diet.  This combination is a critical aspect of controlling how you function daily.  A key component some of us may have forgotten until now is the mental and emotional elements in your life.  COVID-19 has made us view life differently and reveals the importance of mental health.  The ability to seek and find clarity should be at the forefront of taking care of yourself.

Take care of others

Who are YOUR tree branches?  Make sure you reach out to them to help them navigate this new way of life.  Most people will tell you they are doing okay but keep checking on them.  They will appreciate the effort and it helps you keep your tree growing.  You can also reach out to people who are not tree branches; make someone’s day and become a mentor to help move them forward and provide some guidance.

Continue to practice physical distancing

The government and news agencies penned the term social distancing.  Believe this connotation has been a problem from day 1.  Most people had never heard of this term prior to the COVID-19 pandemic and it may have confused some.  I like the term physical distancing because it says right in the title to stay away from others.  We have got enamored with social media and everything that comes with it—think a lot of people could not understand what was really being asked of them when told to practice social distancing.  Regardless how you address the term, physical distancing is something we have some level of control.

Create personal outlets

Look for personal and creative outlets to leverage the things you can control.  The Walk into the Future blog has become a major way for me to express a creative side I really did not know existed.  I get excited researching topics and then challenging myself to create an article someone else may want to read.  Have no idea if anyone is really reading this stuff but I keep plugging away because it is something I control.

Running and weightlifting are other outlets I utilized to control the controllable for myself.  Journaling outside of my work on the Walk into the Future blog has a calming effect for me.  Most times when writing in my journal I can generate work and life ideas to implement later.  Handwriting content in the journal also makes me slow done a bit and really think through what I want to write down.  Always recommend journaling to anyone who will listen to me because it is an excellent outlet to express thoughts—try it! 😊

Reggae and the beach are other outlets I have available to me daily.

Open your eyes and your mind to see your outlets!

The control center of your life is your attitude”.

(Anonymous)

Live, love and laugh

Life can be a compilation of good and bad. Let’s focus on the good and leverage the positive energy this mindset brings.  Live daily, love often and laugh always!  (I just made that up). 😊

What daily things are within your control?  How do you maintain this control? Thanks!

“The moment you give up, is the moment you let someone else win.”

(Kobe Bryant)

 

Walking and being black in America!

Candles

(Image by Pexels from Pixabay)

“To be black and conscious in America is to be in a constant state of rage”.

(James Baldwin)

“I’m a black man in America so I always feel there’s a target on me”.

(Wale)

The Walk into the Future blog has provided me with a creative outlet where I can share my thoughts, leadership philosophy and life adventures.  It puts a smile on my face when I look back at this journey and see the quality of my writing and content improve daily.  Never thought an electronic journal would become such a huge part of my daily life.  I smile every time someone follows the blog or sends me a comment.

Well, I did not smile so much today!

The battle we fight daily as black men in America has been playing out on every major TV network first with Ahmaud Arbery (killed jogging), then Breonna Taylor (killed sleeping) and now George Floyd (killed while handcuffed).  Think about that last sentence for a minute!

I know there are others out there who have faced the wrath of America but there was not video evidence of what happened to them.  Black America has been hoping and praying these incidents would stop and we can fully engage in the American dream—good thing I am not holding my breath—this never seems to end!  Why not?  I know this is not a simple question to answer but it needs to get answered soon.

Got several text messages from my friends to check on me to see how I am doing with all of this.  Thank you for thinking of me and reaching out!

Think it hits closer to home with my friends because they know how much I am out and about with my running program.  Seeing a black man get killed while out for a run highlighted our plight to my friends—yes, that could have been me.  I have had to reassure my mom, brothers, and friends that I am doing everything I can to stay safe when I am out for a run.  Sad to say I must think about being able to make it home safely when I go out for a run.  How many who read my blog have these thoughts when you go for a run?  Life is weird, huh?

My running outfits are selected to provide me with the most visibility as possible.  The extreme bright, loud, and sometimes fluorescent colors are used so everyone will know I am not hiding anything or trying to blend in.  I want to be visible and remembered by everyone who sees me running through their neighborhood.  I also make a point to speak, wave, and smile at everyone I encounter because I do not want them to feel threatened.  Surprisingly, most do not wave back but that is not the point of my actions.  I smile and wave whenever I see a police car drive by too.  Cannot be seen as a threat while exercising!

(Do I look like a runner?)

I also make a point to carry my retired Air Force identification card when I am on my runs in case I encounter police.  I have found police are less threatened when they realize they are talking with someone who has served the country.

When driving I always show my military identification if I get pulled over for any reason first, then I provide whatever identification is requested.  Please know both hands remain on the steering wheel and then I explain in a clear, distinct voice what I am doing if ordered to produce anything else.  I am sure most black people follow this same process to avoid misunderstandings that leads to…you know!

Being a black man in America is exhausting!  I have a PhD in Industrial/Organizational Psychology, a Master’s degree in Counseling/Human Relations, a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, Air Force retiree identification and recognized nationally for authentic leadership development.

Now, imagine what black men without my credentials must do to survive in America.  The insanity must stop!

NOTE:  I will get back to my normal tone next week—thanks for allowing me to vent.

 

“I believe in human beings, and that all human beings should be respected as such, regardless of their color”.

(Malcolm X.)

“Usually, when people are sad, they don’t do anything.  They just cry over their condition.  But when they are angry, they bring about change”.

(Malcolm X.)

Time for change—let’s get out and vote, remain vigilant and demand change—we must do better!

How can you help?

Great article:  https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2020/05/29/george-floyd-ahmaud-arbery-killings-make-hard-blacks-breathe-column/5278108002/